Jordan and her mysterious boy have sadly decided to call it a day and as a consequence far too much of my day has been spent thinking about which swear word begins with 'k'.

It was in The Mirror that I read the account of the pivotal argument between Katie and Peter and on two occasions I boggled when it said she called him a...

"F****** K***"

K? K? My first thought was, "Are the papers now so scared of the word 'cunt' that they not only have to block out three of its letters but also change the remaining one to a homophone? What madness is this?"

Everyone I showed it to, and that was everyone I work with - it was annoying me that much, had a similar reaction.

"K? K? Must be a misprint!" said the Dana Scullys.

"K? K? I always thought it began with 'C'?" said those too quick to doubt themselves.

"K? K? Are the papers now so scared of the word 'cunt' that they not only have to block out three of its letters but also change the remaining one to a homophone?" said the people who unnerved me by demonstrating how similar their minds are to my own.

It was about three hours later, and in the middle of an unrelated conversation when the answer came to me and I found myself shouting out, "OH! She said KNOB!"